Last Saturday, I decided to go to the mall. I had every intention of running in and quickly getting out. I did what I always do. I went into the parking garage, drove up to the fifth floor and quickly found a parking by the entrance. I thanked the Lord for a good parking, got out of my car and proceeded into the mall. I had to pass the movie theater in order to get to the escalator. I noticed a few people buying tickets and I was a little surprised because it was only 10am. I thought; “who goes to a movie this early?” Apparently, many people do. Just before I got to the escalator, I heard Holy Spirit say, “Go and buy a movie ticket.” That sounded ridiculous to me! “Alone?” I thought. Why would I go to a movie and sit by myself? How absurd…..or was it?
There I was, Me, Myself and I, standing at the ticket counter. “One ticket for ‘Sparkle’ please.” I looked around to see if I knew anyone. Who knows, maybe I would run into a friend and sit with her or maybe I was just hoping that no one I knew would see me alone at a movie. I didn’t want anyone assuming that my husband (who was spending time with our sons) and I were fighting or that I had become a pitiful person with no friends (I am so dramatic!). The attendant handed us (Me, Myself and I) the ticket. I thanked him, went to the concession stand and bought a pretzel and an ice tea. I gathered myself and walked into the theater all alone, like a professional movie goer.
it was only half full so I had a pretty good choice of seats. I went about half way up and chose a seat close to the aisle. I felt a little awkward but, I got comfortable and waited for the movie to begin. While I waited, I had a little discussion with the Lord (Abba):
ME:“So, why did You want me to come into a movie alone?”
ABBA: “Are you alone? I’m here with you.”
ME: “I know. You’re always with me.”
ABBA: “I Am always with you and I enjoy our time spent together.
I want You to enjoy our time as well, but you have to learn to
enjoy ‘YOU’ the way I enjoy You.”
That short conversation really made me think. Why had I always felt negatively towards doing things by myself? Was it because I didn’t like who I was or was I subconsciously avoiding realities that I was afraid to face? I realize that it was a little of both. I have shared with you in previous blogs that I’m going through a process of improvement in my life. Before anything can improve, you have to know what to work on. In order to do that, all the junk must be exposed. I began to converse with myself (not out loud, of course!):
ME: “Okay, there’s a first for everything and today is our (Me, Myself and I) first time alone at the movies.
We can choose to make the best of it or fret over it.”
MYSELF: “What if this is a sad movie and you begin to cry? What if it’s a funny movie and you laugh out loud?”
I: “Well, I guess that would only be proof that you are okay. If it’s sad, it’s okay to cry and if it’s funny,
it’s okay to laugh.”
As simple as it may sound, it was my epiphany. I AM OKAY. Being okay may not sound like anything special but it can grow into something special. So it has been decided that only with time by MYSELF, getting to know ME, will I become who ABBA created me to be….more than okay, SPECIAL!
Hey, are you wondering how the movie went? I had a wonderful time! I laughed and I cried. I felt great being with myself and knowing that the Lord was encouraging me to enjoy ME time. It will not be the last time I make time for ME, MYSELF and I. Maybe next time, I’ll go to a restaurant or have a picnic on the beach.
“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17