Tag Archives: change

I Did It!

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I contemplated for a long time. I did research. I checked blogs, pictures and Youtube. I googled every possible question, like; how do I transition? Is it difficult to transition? Is it a good idea to transition? I asked my mother, who has beautiful white hair, what she thought and most importantly, I asked my husband how he would feel about me letting my grey hair grow out? There was no resistance. I was pretty surprise and very happy that Eric (my hubby)said, “go for it!” So, I did!!

To be very honest, not only was I tired of having to color my hair every two weeks because my shiny silvers would grow way too fast, but I was also having to deal with the damaging side effects of the chemicals on my hair and skin. However, it turned out to be much more than that. It has also become just one step closer to being ME. For so long (since I was 19) I hid a part of myself behind color. I was a brunette, a red head and even a near-blond. I had light hair, bright hair and dark hair. Under all the layers of color, I hid.

Taking a step of boldness and faith was not easy because, I have always cared about what others thought of me. As fast as my hair grew, I knew it would not grow fast enough for me to avoid the awkward stages my hair would go through or the awkward looks I would receive.img1440885218987

The first 3 months, I wore my hair in styles that were pulled up, more often than down. As you can see from the picture above, it actually looked as if I were losing hair. During this time I had to keep myself motivated by looking at pictures of other women who had transitioned from color to grey.

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Some days, I thought, “This doesn’t look so bad” and other days I wanted to hide but I didn’t! I was watching a metamorphosis take place. It wasn’t just my hair that was changing, but I’ll leave that for another blog post……I remained patient and, unlike so many times in the past, I looked past my discomfort and the wierd looks. I just let the transition take place. My hair is the topic of many questions, stares and comments. I would have never guessed the amount of people that love it and tell me, they also want to grow out their grey. All I say is, GO FOR IT!!! I did it!!

 

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

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Me, Myself and I: An Epiphany

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Last Saturday, I decided to go to the mall. I had every intention of running in and quickly getting out. I did what I always do. I went into the parking garage, drove up to the fifth floor and quickly found a parking by the entrance.  I thanked the Lord for a good parking, got out of my car and proceeded into the mall. I had to pass the movie theater in order to get to the escalator. I noticed a few people buying tickets and I was a little surprised because it was only 10am. I thought; “who goes to a movie this early?” Apparently, many people do. Just before I got to the escalator, I heard Holy Spirit say, “Go and buy a movie ticket.” That sounded ridiculous to me! “Alone?” I thought. Why would I go to a movie and sit by myself? How absurd…..or was it?

There I was, Me, Myself and I, standing at the ticket counter. “One ticket for  ‘Sparkle’ please.” I looked around to see if I knew anyone. Who knows, maybe I would run into a friend and sit with her or maybe I was just hoping that no one I knew would see me alone at a movie. I didn’t want anyone assuming that my husband (who was spending time with our sons) and I were fighting or that I had become a pitiful person with no friends (I am so dramatic!). The attendant handed us (Me, Myself and I) the ticket. I thanked him, went to the concession stand and bought a pretzel and an ice tea. I gathered myself and walked into the theater all alone, like a professional movie goer.

it was only half full so I had a pretty good choice of seats. I went about half way up and chose a seat close to the aisle. I felt a little awkward but, I got comfortable and waited for the movie to begin. While I waited, I had a little discussion with the Lord (Abba):

ME:“So, why did You want me to come into a movie alone?”

ABBA: “Are you alone? I’m here with you.”

ME: “I know. You’re always with me.”

ABBA: “I Am always with you and I enjoy our time spent together.

I want You to enjoy our time as well, but you have to learn to

enjoy ‘YOU’ the way I enjoy You.”

That short conversation really made me think. Why had I always felt negatively towards doing things by myself? Was it because I didn’t like who I was or was I subconsciously avoiding realities that I was afraid to face? I realize that it was a little of both. I have shared with you in previous blogs that I’m going through a process of improvement in my life. Before anything can improve, you have to know what to work on. In order to do that, all the junk must be exposed. I began to converse with myself (not out loud, of course!):

ME: “Okay, there’s a first for everything and today is our (Me, Myself and I) first time alone at the movies.

We can choose to make the best of it or fret over it.”

MYSELF:  “What if this is a sad movie and you begin to cry? What if it’s a funny movie and you laugh out loud?”

I: “Well, I guess that would only be proof that you are okay. If it’s sad, it’s okay to cry and if it’s funny,

it’s okay to laugh.”

As simple as it may sound, it was my epiphany. I AM OKAY. Being okay may not sound like anything special but it can grow into something special. So it has been decided that only with time by MYSELF, getting to know ME,  will become who ABBA created me to be….more than okay, SPECIAL!

Hey, are you wondering how the movie went? I had a wonderful time! I laughed and I cried. I felt great being with myself and knowing that the Lord was encouraging me to enjoy ME time. It will not be the last time I make time for ME, MYSELF and I. Maybe next time, I’ll go to a restaurant or have a picnic on the beach.

“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.”  2 Corinthians 5:17

 

Blockage

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Ok, so today I sit here at my computer to try and write my blog. I never have considered myself a writer but, I have always found an outlet in writing. However; today I have “writer’s block”. AAAHHHHH! How annoying! How am I suppose to continue a blog if I can’t think of what to write?

Have you ever felt like you were being “blocked”? Maybe not “writer’s block” but blocked from reaching a particular goal in life? Or maybe you have several goals and you feel overwhelmed by the thought of working towards achieving them. Could it be that YOU are keeping yourself from moving forward because your bound in fear and allowing the enemy to convince you that, “You are fine right where you are”? Well, its time to take a stand and shout, “get thee behind me, you lying devil!”

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