Monthly Archives: July 2012

This Move

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I moved, however, this move did not require much labor what so ever. This time I did not need to pack any clothes. This time, I did not have to empty out kitchen cabinets or even the fridge. This time, there were no glasses or china to wrap in newspaper. This time, there was no need for a truck or even a car. I did not even have to buy paint, furniture or cleaning products for this move! This move did not take place because I was unhappy. It was only so I would have a stronger sense of security. The only concern I have regarding this move is, YOU!

I would hate to think that we could lose contact. What if we can no longer share stories with one another? That would be quite sad because I really enjoy the time I spend sharing with you and you with me. HEY! I have a great idea! I will leave behind some of my things, that way when you come and visit, you will know that  I WAS here, but I still want you to find me at my new location so I will leave you this note:

Dear Friend,

I am no longer at this address but, I have not gone very far.

As a matter of fact, I am a little easier to find. I have left behind a few old things that you will recognize but, I will have some new things for you to enjoy. Please come by and pay me a visit so we can share some time together. Feel free to bring friends and family along. The more, the merrier! My new address is: http://www.weightingontheLord.com. I hope to see you there soon!

Your Friend and fellow Blogger,

LEA

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I Won’t Let It Get Me Down

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Okay, I finally have a minute to sit down on my iPad and type. This week has been quite exhausting for me. I’m lacking sleep and feel like I’m running on empty. I find myself fantasizing about laying on a warm, breezy, non humid beach in a huge cabana with white flowing curtains and soft white cushions. All I hear is the sound of birds, waves crashing against the shore, and my snoring! I just long for sleep! The funny thing is, even when I can go to bed early I manage not to. You’re probably wondering why? Honestly, it’s just bad habit. I always find something to do and it is never anything important or necessary. It’s as if I’m making sure I don’t miss anything…..Man, that sounds so juvenile! I also can not remember the last time I slept through an entire night. I wake up constantly to check the time and figure out how many hours or minutes I have left to sleep. Isn’t that ironic? I wake up to see how much sleep I still can get. I really need to make a change. I have also noticed that lack of sleep causes major loss of energy and, loss of energy causes the body to start craving what it shouldn’t, for example: sugar and other carbs. This has been a big part of my problem. I find myself searching the cabinets and fridge for I don’t know what and that could very well sabotage all my hard work.

I’ve been talking to myself quite a bit lately, although I hear only crazy people do that. Call me crazy. Crazy for Jesus. The truth is, I have to tell myself “no” sometimes and sometimes I have to say “stop, that’s enough!” I have been doing so well in this “process” that the Lord has been taking me through and I cannot and will not let it set me back. That’s another problem with exhaustion, you start to feel sorry for yourself and then take on an “I’m just gonna give up” attitude. I WILL NOT GIVE UP! I’m gonna take this bull by the horns and not let go. I am going to make it a point to go to bed earlier and to find time to just be quiet and appreciate the peace of God. I’m going to rejoice in the fact that this revelation is only one of many to come. Rest Is a necessity! Get some!

Why “Weight”?

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I have had people ask why I chose the title, “Weight-ing on the Lord” instead of “Waiting on the Lord” for this blog. The answer is simple. At the very start of my “process”, I had this crazy idea that the only real problem in my life, the only thing that was really holding me back, keeping me down and “weighing” on me was how much I weighed (you know, the numbers on the scale). Ha! Was I wrong! That was only the consequence of so many other things! So much was WEIGHING me down, thus began; “Weight-ing on the Lord”.

“Weight-ing on the Lord” is all about my process of change and growth. It’s about listening and not always speaking, or not always complaining. It’s about taking what once was my weakness and finding my strength. Its about believing that, although it is not easy, the “process” is necessary for me to become who God expects me to be. “Weight-ing on the Lord” is about letting go of my burdens, taking off my yokes and accepting the freedom that Jesus has given me!

Some of the things that I have been “weight-ing” on are:

1) Lack of discipline when it came to my eating habits. I’m not even going to lie, I really enjoy good food but, it becomes a problem when you eat for all the wrong reasons. I’m sure some of you know what I mean. For example: “I’m so depressed, I just need some ice cream! Let’s stop and think for a moment. Does eating actually take away feelings of sadness, anger, anxiety, etc? Doesn’t it just mask it for the moment and then once you’re done, the feelings are still there and accompanied by guilt for overeating? That was my life! Eat, eat, munch, munch and then hate myself for it. Now I can enjoy my food without overeating and go to the Lord, not to mask the problem but, to solve the problem!

2) Being negative. I was one of those people who always saw “the glass half empty”. Negativity was my middle name! I had no problem advising others to speak positive and have faith. , when it came to myself, that advise some how went down the drain. Whoa was me! Everyone was against me and nothing ever goes right. What a crop of lies! I had to finally come to terms with the fact that, my way isn’t always God’s way and definitely not always the right way. Now-a-days, I try to think before I speak. I say, “Lord, please help me to see more clearly and to have a better understanding. Help me to see the good before the bad.”

3) Boldness. I use to think it was enough to be able to stand before a group of people and preach the Word of God but, it’s not. It is being able to tell truth even if you know your going to face negativity and or confrontation. Not compromising in any situation. I always preferred to stay quiet or pretend to ignore a situation in order to save the hassle of confrontation but, didn’t Jesus have to face that and more?

So now you know some of the things that were and still try to weigh me down. The difference in me today is that I realize that the “process” is unending because the Lord is an eternal teacher. I no longer have to grow impatient with myself. I only have to remind myself that everything is “precept upon precept, precept upon precept, line upon line, line upon line. Here a little, there a little.” (Isaiah 28:10)

Beloved ones, I pray that you will also let go of the burdens and release the yoke that is weighing you down and WEIGHT ON THE LORD!

Stopping My Moving Lips

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Silence is golden, and sometimes the silence has to come from me. I have always been a social butterfly. I’ve never had a problem with striking up a conversation, making a comment, asking a question. As a young girl, I was warned about my talkative ways. My cousin, Joe (more like an uncle), use to sing a song to me; “you talk too much, you worry me to death. You talk too much, you worry me to death” and in school I was always being scolded for my talking. I realize now that my voice was often used to “cover-up” things that I did not want to deal with. A joke to hide feelings of sadness. A compliment to avoid rejection, etc.

Well, today is a new day and another lesson learned; my “process” continues! I had to face the fact that speaking is not always necessary or helpful. Sometimes listening serves a much better purpose. Hearing what other people have to say about me can and will be used as a stepping stone to becoming a better me. Taking what I hear to the Father, asking Him what He says about it and then allowing Him to teach me what to do. Trust me, there have been many things said as I have decided to open up my ears and shut my moving lips!

It has taken this long (remember, I am 46 years young) to finally come to terms with the idea of being able to change into the woman God wants me to be, instead of the woman I think He wants me to be. There is a huge difference! The woman He wants me to be, has to move out of her comfort zone, be willing to let the flesh die (which can be quite painful!). Now the woman I think He wants me to be, always stays close to what is comfortable. The moment it hurts, she cries out, “this couldn’t possibly be God, He would never let me go through this!” and retreats to her zone.
Praise the Lord for spiritual growth! I am especially thankful that there is no age limit to growing in Him!

My beautiful sisters (and brothers, too), take time everyday to be silent and listen. Learn from what you hear, take it to the Lord and ask Him about it. Allow Holy Spirit to teach you and change you. Never retreat when it becomes painful. Rejoice in the fact that your flesh is dying and a better you is resurrecting!