There was a time in my life when I always seemed to have friends. I always had those few that were my closest friends. I never had to walk a mall alone, go to lunch alone or see a girlie movie alone. It’s part of being a pastor. My husband (and pastor) and I have a great relationship but, just like he enjoys having his man time, I enjoy my girl time. Eric and I love going to dinner, seeing a good movie, walking, talking and laughing together (he still knows how to make me laugh). However, when he works on one of his mechanical projects or does yard work, he also enjoys that, but I do not.
I have always been a social butterfly. I had to learn to enjoy my own company and realize that it was time with my thoughts and The Lord. Still, at sometimes, I feel lonely. I desire human interaction outside of the church building and my husband. He doesn’t enjoy, what he likes to call, “girlie” movies, looking at make-up, getting manis or pedis, or sharing crazy stories that only women like to share.
This designed path of mine makes it difficult to find another woman who understands my life. Often, the expectations of others, can be overwhelming. According to many, I shouldn’t have down days, weak or angry moments.There is a different kind of pressure placed on women like me, women who are pastors and or married to pastors. There is a lack of support for us. A lack of fellowship between us. There are things we go through that only others in our position can understand. Sadly, you won’t often find a group of female pastors spending time together outside of ministry. Rarely, do you see them sitting at Starbucks drinking coffee, chatting or just enjoying a day together. The truth is, you don’t often find us leaning on one another for moral support, good advice, a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, or just someone to share great news with.
It really is a sad situation. I know how alienated I sometimes feel so, there must many more out there feeling the same. We always offer ourselves to be a sounding board or a word of wisdom to our congregation members. Is it too difficult for us to be that to one another? We should be praying for each other. We should be building the Kingdom of God, here in earth as it is in Heaven, together. We should not worry about sheep steeling. We should not covet or be jealous of one another. When you are blessed, I am blessed. We are sisters!